Hello dearies, how have y'all been? Hectic week for most I guess. Same here. Sorry for my silence. You know how it is having to do so much at a time.
Well, well, all we can say is thank God we are alive and TGIF!!! Whoop! Flexing things.
I've got a little humour for you today. Use this to wait on 4:00pm or 6:00pm. Depending on when your working hours are officially over.
Here's one from one of our very own award winning writers, Frances, read as she shares a real life experience of...I don't know who. Lol! Enjoy..
Cybercafé Wahala
A few years ago when I was
19, I was among those many teenagers who had no access to a computer and the
few times we saw one was in a cybercafé or in a hostel room where a rich girl
lived.
We had just vacated from
Nigerian French Village, Badagry, for the first semester holiday. I needed to
send mails to my friends and also access my Facebook account which I hadn't
checked since I opened it.
I wore a pair of brown knickers
and a pink blouse. I was a tomboy, my fashion sense was laughable and I was very
plump. My 'bum bum' was larger than the rest of my body and now that I'm
slimmer, I wonder if men stopped me in those days because I was beautiful or
just because my bum was big enough.
I walked into the cybercafé without smiles, trying hard to kill my bashfulness as some guys stared at me…at
my buttocks. I paid 200naira for the browsing time and even the cybercafé's male
receptionist stared mouth agape at my chest. I didn't like it.
After I put the code and
clicked to log in, it seemed to be the only thing I knew how to do.
00.59
I had forgotten which the
browsing icon was. I clicked the 'start' button and it displayed many programs.
'Microsoft word' looked familiar. I knew I had seen it before so I clicked on
it. The displayed page told me that I made a wrong choice. I touched the left
button on the mouse and everything disappeared, leaving me with the laptop home
screen.
00.45
After so much hesitation,
trial and error and nervousness, I swallowed my pride and signaled to one of
cybercafé attendants. He was light complexioned and I had a soft spot for 'half albinos'.
He came to my table and fiddled the mouse, and then he stared at me in
surprise. He was shocked that I hadn't done anything since I sat there. He must
have thought that I was daft or something. He opened the Internet Explorer for
me and walked away.
00.40
I was excited when the long
sought page opened and all the 'http' and 'www' lined up in different boxes. I
would send a mail to Maureen Nwachukwu. I had always wanted to be her friend
and we finally became close. Faith, my bestie, and I, weren't in best of terms
at the time but I would still communicate with her. I would check Facebook and know
exactly what the famous website was all about.
00.35
I clicked frantically on the
mouse button as I sought for the perfect space to check my mail from. Every
click I did took me to other strange pages. The girl that was seated beside me kept
looking at me as I continuously hit the mouse on the desk with irritation.
"Network" I
muttered in indirect explanation when her glances became consistent.
00.15
There was nothing else I
could achieve so I clicked on the start button and opened Microsoft word. I
clicked on every icon visible and even pretended to type by randomly touching
the keyboard.
00.05 Remaining!
It must have been another one
hour before the remaining minutes were exhausted. I stood and walked out of the cybercafé, avoiding glances. 200naira was a lot of money. I went home and cried
myself to sleep.
Frances Kodili-Joe
